The Weakest Link May Cry
by Binkari
Summary: I can't stay serious. Sorry.
1. Default Chapter

==Devil May Cry is a game created by Capcom (as said on box). All characters belong to Capcom. The Weakest Link belongs to...er..god...whoever created that game.==  
  
Host: Welcome to the Weakest Link May Cry! Here, we have 5 characters from the new hit game, Devil May Cry!  
  
*Camera pans over the 5 characters: Dante, Trish, Bloody Mari, Nelo Angelo, and Mundus*  
  
Host: "Let's begin shall we?"  
  
Contestants: *nod*  
  
Host: "Dante, in characters, who does Trish resemble?"  
  
Dante: "Mom."  
  
Host: "Correct. Trish, in characters, who does Dante resemble?"  
  
Trish: "...What?"  
  
Host: "Time's running out."  
  
Trish: "Sparda?"  
  
Host: "Incorrect. Sparda has horns, he does not."  
  
Dante: "Hey, don't you start putting my dad dow--"  
  
Host: "Bloody Mari, in the game, Dante must defeat HOW MANY of your minions before he may proceed to mission 2?"  
  
Bloody Mari: "RAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"  
  
Host: "Judges?"  
  
Judges: "WTF?"  
  
Host: "No, sorry. Incorrect. Nelo Angelo, in items, what did you see that stopped you from slicing Dante's head off in the first encounter?"  
  
Nelo Angelo: "The amulet."  
  
Host: "Correct. Mundus, in motives, why did you come back?"  
  
Mundus: "To rule the world in my own hellish image."  
  
Host: "...Ok. Dante, in time, how long does the Melancholy Soul last?"  
  
Dante: "Well, let's see...it took me 20 seconds to activate it. Then it took me about 30 seconds to run down the stairs. 40 seconds to pulverize the marionettes. A 3 second fall to the bottom of the stairwell. Then erm...90 seconds to beat the stupid shadow's ass in, only to find that the soul was dead. So that makes, uh, 3 minutes and 3 seconds?"  
  
Host: "Incorrect."  
  
Dante: "?!"  
  
Host: "The correct answer is: 3 minutes. Trish, in quotes, what did you say when Dante sabatoged your attempt to squash him with your motorcycle?"  
  
Trish: "I do believe I said, 'Such strength!'"  
  
Host: "...Close enough. Bloody Mari, in numbers, how many grenade shots does it take to blow you into smithereens?"  
  
Bloody Mari: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!"  
  
Host: "Incorrect. 2, 3 at the most. Nelo Angelo, in items, what did you take off in your third encounter with Dante?"  
  
Nelo Angelo: "My mask."  
  
Host: "Correct. Mundus, in world domination, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?"  
  
Mundus: "Pardon?"  
  
Host: "Incorrect. Time's up. You have bagged a sad sad 500 red orbs. That's not even enough to buy holy water. Shame."  
  
[#] The strongest link in this round was Nelo Angelo. He was able to remember everything after getting knocked upside the head hundreds of times by Dante. The weakest link was Bloody Mari. You couldn't even understand what it was saying.  
  
Host: "Cast your votes!"  
  
Dante: "Bloody Mari."  
  
Trish: "Blood Mari."  
  
Bloody Mari: "REEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHT!"  
  
Nelo Angelo: "Bloody Mari."  
  
Mundus: "That simpleton minion of mine."  
  
Host: "Well, Blood Mari, you ARE the weakest link, g'bye!"  
  
Bloody Mari: "Eeee..." *shambles off* 


	2. Round 2

==Devil May Cry is a game created by Capcom (as said on box). All characters belong to Capcom. The Weakest Link belongs to...er..god...whoever created that game.==  
  
The Weakest Link May Cry (Round 2!!)  
  
Host: "Welcome back. We have just eliminated Bloody Mari, leaving 4 more contestants left. Let's begin. Dante, in bosses, which boss popped out of the statue of the lion?"  
  
Dante: "The shadow, or the sin scythes in easy mode."  
  
Host: "Correct. Trish, in cut scenes, what brought about the final demise of the phantom?"  
  
Trish: "Dante?"  
  
Host: "Incorrect, the spear of the warrior statue. Nelo Angelo, in items, what color does your sword produce right before you are about to attack?"  
  
Nelo Angelo: "Blue."  
  
Host: "Incorrect, cerulean. Mundus, in cut scenes, what did Dante use to escape from Mallet Island?"  
  
Mundus: "I am the Devil King! There questions are completely irreleva--"  
  
Host: "Incorrect, a plane. Dante, which sword is more powerful: Sparda, or Alastor?"  
  
Dante: "Alastor?"  
  
Host: "Incorrect, Sparda, you twit. Trish, in demons, what type of demon are YOU?"  
  
Trish: "A powerful one?"  
  
Host: "Judges?"  
  
Judges: "...."  
  
Host: "Accepted. Nelo Angelo, weapons, what are the names of the guns Dante yields?"  
  
Nelo Angelo: "Lots of and Pain."  
  
Host: "Incorrect, Ebony and Ivory. Mundus, in egoes, how big is YOUR ego?"  
  
Mundus: "Is this a trick question?"  
  
Host: "Incorrect. You people are pitiful with your bank of 700 red orbs total."  
  
[#] There was no strongest link in this round. Mundus is the weakest link. Will the others figure this out? Stay tuned.  
  
Host: "Cast your votes."  
  
Dante: "Mundus."  
  
Trish: "Mundus."  
  
Nelo Angelo: "Mundus."  
  
Mundus: "Dante."  
  
Host: "Mundus, you ARE the weakest link, g'bye!"  
  
Mundus: "WHAT?! How can this be?! I am the Devil King! I know all, see all, and hear all! How can you imbuciles kick ME off?! This is unacceptable behavior! DAMN YOU ALL!" *gets dragged off somehow* 


	3. Round 3

==Devil May Cry is a game created by Capcom (as said on box). All characters belong to Capcom. The Weakest Link belongs to...er..god...whoever created that game.==  
  
The Weakest Link May Cry (Round 3!!!)  
  
Host: "Hello again. Here we join our three remaining survivo--er...contestants. We have just eliminated Mundus and before that, Bloody Mari. Let's get started. Dante, in missions, what did you retrieve from the skeleton in the dungeon?"  
  
Dante: "Its arm?"  
  
Host: "Incorrect, Emblem shield. Trish, in cut scenes, how do the sin scissors make their first appearance?"  
  
Trish: "Uhm..."  
  
Host: "Wrong, one came out from the painting in the library, the other from the floor of the library. Nelo Angelo, in enemies, when a plasma is down, it splits into how many plasmas?"  
  
Nelo Angelo: "Two."  
  
Host: "Incorrect, three. Dante, in cut scenes, what did you have to jump on to get to the Ifrits?"  
  
Dante: "Platforms?"  
  
Host: "...Correct. Trish, in enemies, what is a baby phantom called?"  
  
Trish: "A phantomling?"  
  
Host: "Incorrect, kyklops or baby phantom. Nelo Angelo, in attacks, how many levels does Stinger have?"  
  
Nelo Angelo: "Two."  
  
Host: "Correct. Dante, in attacks, 'Air Hike' belongs to which god?"  
  
Dante: "Alasto--no...Ifrit?"  
  
Host: *slaps forehead* "Incorrect, Alastor. Trish, in weapons, how many guns are there?"  
  
Trish: *begins counting.* "Hmm...Ebony and Ivory, the shotgun, the grenadegun, the needlegun, the Nightmare Beta...6?"  
  
Host: "Correct. Nelo Ange--" *bling* "Time's up. You have bagged a total of 800 red orbs. What a pitiful sum. Vote."  
  
[#] All members were tied this round. Who will be voted off?  
  
Host: "All right, let's see who we get to boot off...(goody goody!)"  
  
Dante: "Nelo Angelo."  
  
Trish: "Nelo Angelo."  
  
Nelo: "Dante."  
  
Host: "Nelo, you ARE the weakest link, g'bye!"  
  
Nelo: *casts a murderous glare at Dante, then to Trish.*  
  
Trish and Dante: *smiles innocently.* 


	4. Round 4

==Devil May Cry is a game created by Capcom (as said on box). All characters belong to Capcom. The Weakest Link belongs to...er..god...whoever created that game.==  
  
The Weakest Link May Cry (OMG! Round 4!!!!)  
  
Host: "Greetings again. We are left to two contestants, but only one will make it through. Here we bring out the tough questions. Sudden death, no time limit. This is the end of the line! Dante, in missions, how long did you have to escape from the crumbling Mallet Island?"  
  
Dante: "I was running for my life, you honestly think I was paying attention to the time?!"  
  
Host: "Is that your final answer?"  
  
Dante: "...No. 4 minutes?"  
  
Host: "Incorrect, 5. Trish, besides nuking them, what is another, more entertaining way to defeat two kyklops at the same time?"  
  
Trish: "Slashing them?"  
  
Host: "Incorrect, hiding and letting them kill themselves. Dante, in gameplay, what commands must a player enter for you to recognize a roll?"  
  
Dante: "Player...?"  
  
Host: "WRONG, jump with left or right. Trish, what is the name of Dante's shop?"  
  
Trish: *blinks*  
  
Host: "Insufficient, Devil May Cry. Dante, what item can you use to destroy a large amount of enemies?"  
  
Dante: "My swords...?"  
  
Host: "INCORRECT. Trish..."  
  
[5 hours later]  
  
Host: *sigh* "Dante, in numbers, how many fingers am I holding up?" *holds up two*  
  
Dante: *squinting* "Uhm, it looks like...3?"  
  
Host: "WTF?! Trish, in names, what is YOUR name?"  
  
Trish: "Zzzz..."  
  
Host: "Judges, can we accept that?"  
  
Judges: "YES!"  
  
Host: "We have a winner! Congratulations, Trish! You've won a cruise around the ruins of Mallet Island, and 1000 red orbs.  
  
Trish: "Zzz..."  
  
Dante: "Those questions weren't very fair." 


End file.
